Dear Baby,
A few days ago I was having such a hard day. I knew that another month was going to go by without me becoming a mother. Days like that are hard. More then just hard...they are heartbreaking. I can't explain how it feels to know that yet again, we were not successful in creating you. To know that we will feel empty at least one more long month.
I happened to flip to a page in a magazine with this quote:
"Sometimes it seems as if other people have all the luck-like somehow they've got what it takes to make dreams happen, and you don't. But you have the very same magic they have: hope and hard work! Whatever you want in life can happen. Some dreams just take a little longer to unfold than others, that's all!"
So, sweet one, I picked up the pieces and put them back together. I am going forth with hope and strength and faith. I am praying that this dream only takes a little longer. I am consciencely making the effort to keep my thoughts positive (some days that is easier said then done). I love you already.
Love,
Mommy
Showing posts with label Dreaming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreaming. Show all posts
10.04.2009
9.12.2009
When?
Dear Baby,
Some days I feel like we will be parents "soon." That our days of dreaming of you and imagining you existing will become days of you actually existing. Some days I think that this journey can't last much longer and that surely we will be blessed soon. That God will answer our prayers and bring you to us.
Other days, I wonder if you will ever come to be. If I will ever be lucky enough to hold you in my arms and feel my heart swell with love for you. It's hard for me to even imagine feeling that kind of joy most days.
This journey so far has been tough. It's been a roller coaster and often feels like there are more downs then ups. There have been positive things to come out of this journey though. I feel like it has strengthened my marriage, rather then weaken it. I pray more often. And I know that once the ride is "over" I'll be getting on a new ride and this one will really seem all the more worth it. I know that once dreaming of you becomes holding you, that moment will mean so much more to me than it would have if this journey hadn't been so tough. So while I am now in the midst of heartache, I hope that someday I will truly appreciate this journey, for the ups and the downs. I read once, from someone that went through infertility, that infertility did not define them, but that it would always be a part of them because it was what led them to their daughter. I hope I am able to feel that way someday.
Love,
Mommy
Some days I feel like we will be parents "soon." That our days of dreaming of you and imagining you existing will become days of you actually existing. Some days I think that this journey can't last much longer and that surely we will be blessed soon. That God will answer our prayers and bring you to us.
Other days, I wonder if you will ever come to be. If I will ever be lucky enough to hold you in my arms and feel my heart swell with love for you. It's hard for me to even imagine feeling that kind of joy most days.
This journey so far has been tough. It's been a roller coaster and often feels like there are more downs then ups. There have been positive things to come out of this journey though. I feel like it has strengthened my marriage, rather then weaken it. I pray more often. And I know that once the ride is "over" I'll be getting on a new ride and this one will really seem all the more worth it. I know that once dreaming of you becomes holding you, that moment will mean so much more to me than it would have if this journey hadn't been so tough. So while I am now in the midst of heartache, I hope that someday I will truly appreciate this journey, for the ups and the downs. I read once, from someone that went through infertility, that infertility did not define them, but that it would always be a part of them because it was what led them to their daughter. I hope I am able to feel that way someday.
Love,
Mommy
7.28.2009
Dreaming of you...
Dear Baby,
I haven't met you yet. In fact, you don't exist at all except for in my heart. I don't know if you're a boy or a girl. I don't know if you have red hair or brown. I don't know if you have brown eyes or hazel. But I do know I love you. That's right, I love you already. We've been praying for you for over two years now. And we will continue to pray for you until the moment we are holding you in our arms. We are not the only ones praying for you either. There are people praying for you that we haven't even met in real life. I'm going to continue to write to you. And one day, hopefully, you will read these letters and now just how much you were wanted and loved before you even existed.
Love,
Mommy
I haven't met you yet. In fact, you don't exist at all except for in my heart. I don't know if you're a boy or a girl. I don't know if you have red hair or brown. I don't know if you have brown eyes or hazel. But I do know I love you. That's right, I love you already. We've been praying for you for over two years now. And we will continue to pray for you until the moment we are holding you in our arms. We are not the only ones praying for you either. There are people praying for you that we haven't even met in real life. I'm going to continue to write to you. And one day, hopefully, you will read these letters and now just how much you were wanted and loved before you even existed.
Love,
Mommy
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