7.22.2010

Oh My, Oh My!

I feel so blessed.  I cannot wait to meet you Caleb! XOXO

7.12.2010

Showered with Love

Dear Caleb,

Yesterday was your baby shower.  It was a beautiful, HOT, sunny day.  There were cute decorations, delicious food, fun games, great gifts, and lots of people.  But what I will always remember about today was the love and joy that filled our house.  It was leave tears in your eyes and overflow your heart love.  The kind that everyone should have the chance to experience at some point.  As I laid in bed last night, I replayed the day in my head.  A day that I've dreamed about and wished for for so long.  A day that I once thought would never come...and I realized two things. 

The first is that God had this plan for me all along.  I should have trusted in Him all along.  I'm not sure why infertility was in my plan, but it was and it is what brought me to you Love.  He knew this day was in my future when I was in my darkest and most miserable days.

The second thing I realized is just how blessed I am to have so many people that love and care about Chris and me.  And all these people will be there to welcome you and love you from the very beginning.  You will be blessed to be surrounded with this love from the moment you are born. 

I soaked up this day like sunshine and will always cherish it.  I may not always remember what the decorations looked like or what food was served or what dress I wore.  But I WILL always remember how if felt to be so loved and how your upcoming arrival was so looked forward to by so many people.  I want you to know that today was such a special day and that so many people are looking forward to meeting you, especially your Mommy and Daddy.

Not much longer sweet boy!
I love you,

Mommy

6.27.2010

30 Weeks

Dear Caleb,

I cannot believe that in 9 short weeks we will be meeting you!  I can't wait to see your cute little face and give you lots and lots of love!

Here are some pictures that Christina took for us at 30 weeks.  You certainly are growing!


 Not too much longer!  I love you more and more everyday!

Love,
Mommy

8 lbs. Worth It

After we had been married for almost a year, together for 8 years we decided we were ready to start a family.  We planned to get pregnant in the summer to be due in the Spring.  It would be perfect.  I would have maternity leave then have summer break right after.  We assumed it would happen just as planned.  It didn't.  At all.  After almost a year, we were seeing Dr. Y, a reproductive endocrinologist.  When we got our first positive pregnancy test we were so excited!  That pregnancy was not meant to be, and ended in an ectopic.  Dr. Y suggested that I have an HSG.  If anyone ever tells you that you need an HSG, politely say "No thank you" and walk the other way!  What is an HSG you ask?  It is when you have a catheter shoved up your Va-Jay to insert this fun dye.  The doctor then takes x-rays to make sure that all of your piping is open and clear.  What I didn't know ahead of time, was that my uterus would have a hissy fit and cramp up like nothing I'd ever felt before...and not uncramp for several minutes.  Ouch, ouch, and more ouch.  One of my fallopian tubes had a blockage, so the next thing on the agenda was laparoscopy.  Surgery where 3 small incisions were made so that Dr. Y could look inside my uterus and fallopian tubes to see what the blockage was and if there was any endometriosis or anything else that may be preventing me from getting pregnant.  I was at least put to sleep for this procedure and honestly thought the HSG was worse.  (The lap ended up showing that everything was open and looked great.  It was Oct. 2008 and we got our next positive Dec. 2009)

I remember waking up right after the surgery.  I remember being half out of it and the nurse trying to get me to pull up the very fashionable mesh undies that they put on me after surgery.  They had slathered gunk on my eyes and I felt too groggy to open them anyway.  In the recovery area the nurse talked to me and I don't remember half of what she said.  I remember she rubbed my arm.  I remember she got me a warm blanket and laid it on my stomach, which felt wonderful.  When I finally was half-awake, she said to me, "I hope this is worth it.  I hope it's 8 lbs. worth it."  I could hear the smile on her face.  It was the sweetest thing she could have said to me.  I don't even think I said anything back.  I think I just smiled.  I wish I knew who she was.  I'd like to tell her that it was worth it.  That the pain from the HSG, the laparoscopy, the IUIs (including the egg retrieval I was AWAKE for during one), the injections, the emotional pain from the ectopic...it was all so worth it.

Did the timing work out like we planned?  No.  Was it easy?  Absolutely not.  Did our plan turn out perfect?  Yes, because YOU, Caleb, are perfect.

5.22.2010

We're Growing!

And Growing, and growing, and growing!



We'll be meeting you in about 98 days!  Keep growing strong!

I love you,
Mama

5.03.2010

Your Room....

Dear Caleb,
We have had so much fun getting your room all prepared for you.  We have most of the big stuff already set up.  I dreamed of what your room would look like for the past 2+ years.  I knew I wanted a cow theme.  I knew I wanted furniture that could grow with you.  I knew I wanted a glider to rock you to sleep in.  I knew all of these things before I was even expecting you.  I didn't know how much my heart would swell just walking in to the nursery.  I didn't know how much I would enjoy rocking in the glider and imagining myself holding you.  I didn't know that the room would turn out even more beautiful than I ever could have imagined it. 

I love you sweet boy,
Mama

4.18.2010

Halfway There!

Dear Caleb,

I still can't believe you're actually here.  And by here I mean growing inside me.  I will be meeting you in about 19 weeks.  Looking at your precious face,  holding your warm, snugly body.  I already dream about that moment.  I feel so blessed to have been chosen to be your mother.

I love you already sweet boy,
Mama