8 lbs. Worth It

After we had been married for almost a year, together for 8 years we decided we were ready to start a family.  We planned to get pregnant in the summer to be due in the Spring.  It would be perfect.  I would have maternity leave then have summer break right after.  We assumed it would happen just as planned.  It didn't.  At all.  After almost a year, we were seeing Dr. Y, a reproductive endocrinologist.  When we got our first positive pregnancy test we were so excited!  That pregnancy was not meant to be, and ended in an ectopic.  Dr. Y suggested that I have an HSG.  If anyone ever tells you that you need an HSG, politely say "No thank you" and walk the other way!  What is an HSG you ask?  It is when you have a catheter shoved up your Va-Jay to insert this fun dye.  The doctor then takes x-rays to make sure that all of your piping is open and clear.  What I didn't know ahead of time, was that my uterus would have a hissy fit and cramp up like nothing I'd ever felt before...and not uncramp for several minutes.  Ouch, ouch, and more ouch.  One of my fallopian tubes had a blockage, so the next thing on the agenda was laparoscopy.  Surgery where 3 small incisions were made so that Dr. Y could look inside my uterus and fallopian tubes to see what the blockage was and if there was any endometriosis or anything else that may be preventing me from getting pregnant.  I was at least put to sleep for this procedure and honestly thought the HSG was worse.  (The lap ended up showing that everything was open and looked great.  It was Oct. 2008 and we got our next positive Dec. 2009)

I remember waking up right after the surgery.  I remember being half out of it and the nurse trying to get me to pull up the very fashionable mesh undies that they put on me after surgery.  They had slathered gunk on my eyes and I felt too groggy to open them anyway.  In the recovery area the nurse talked to me and I don't remember half of what she said.  I remember she rubbed my arm.  I remember she got me a warm blanket and laid it on my stomach, which felt wonderful.  When I finally was half-awake, she said to me, "I hope this is worth it.  I hope it's 8 lbs. worth it."  I could hear the smile on her face.  It was the sweetest thing she could have said to me.  I don't even think I said anything back.  I think I just smiled.  I wish I knew who she was.  I'd like to tell her that it was worth it.  That the pain from the HSG, the laparoscopy, the IUIs (including the egg retrieval I was AWAKE for during one), the injections, the emotional pain from the ectopic...it was all so worth it.

Did the timing work out like we planned?  No.  Was it easy?  Absolutely not.  Did our plan turn out perfect?  Yes, because YOU, Caleb, are perfect.